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Leading Is Emotionally Draining. Here’s How to Recover. - Harvard Business Review

  • Writer: ZEST
    ZEST
  • Jul 24
  • 4 min read

This article was inspired by Dina Denham Smith's article, posted on July 11th, 2025, on hbr.org. To read the full Harvard Business Review article, please click here.


Imagine it’s Tuesday. You’ve just had to let someone go. Earlier in the day, you delivered tough feedback in a tense team meeting. And now, you’ve just learned your top performer is resigning.


There’s no crisis. Just another day as a manager.


Individually, these moments are tough. But stacked together, and layered with relentless performance pressure and emotional labor, they leave a mark. Quietly, consistently, leadership wears you down.


And the data confirms it: in 2024, global engagement dropped — not because of frontline employees, but because managers themselves disengaged (Gallup, 2025). According to a March 2025 survey, 77% of managers say their role feels harder than ever before (Business Wire, 2025).

Leadership today isn’t just intellectually demanding. It’s emotionally taxing. And powering through without recovery isn’t resilience, it’s erosion.

Here’s how to reverse the trend with three key strategies: reflect, reframe, and restore.


1. Reflect: Don’t rush forward — make meaning


Imagine an athlete finishing a race and skipping the cooldown. Eventually, the strain catches up. The same applies to leadership. When you jump from one emotional moment to the next without pause, those emotions don’t disappear. They build and resurface later as stress, reactivity, or even burnout.


Instead of moving on, take five minutes. Ask yourself:

  • What am I feeling?

  • Where do I feel it in my body?

  • What are my emotions trying to tell me?

  • What do they reveal about what matters to me?

You don’t need a therapist’s couch. You need a moment of honesty. Write it down. Say it into a voice memo. Or share it with a peer you trust.

Why it works: Reflecting builds emotional intelligence, reduces reactivity, and creates space for more intentional leadership.


2. Reframe: Shift the story to shift your energy


Not every leadership moment comes with a neat resolution. Sometimes you do the hard thing — deliver a layoff, restructure a team — and still feel awful.


Take Jacob, a VP who led a major turnaround. Just when things stabilized, a reorg reassigned his team, leaving him in limbo. Initially, he felt angry and unappreciated. But with time, he reframed it as a break after an intense season — and a chance to explore a stretch role. That shift helped him show up calmer, more open, and more strategic.


Ask yourself:

  • What might be the silver lining?

  • What long-term benefit could come from this?

  • What version of this story is also true?


But reframing isn’t just about the situation. It’s also about how you see yourself in it. When you make decisions that cause discomfort to others (even if necessary), it’s easy to question your own character. In those moments, self-compassion isn’t optional, it’s vital.

Ask yourself: If a colleague came to me with this story, how would I respond?

Why it works: Reframing reduces distress and frees up mental space. Self-compassion improves leadership effectiveness, resilience, and emotional regulation.


3. Restore: Recovery isn’t a luxury — it’s a leadership skill


If you think you don’t have time to rest, consider this: the more emotionally depleted you are, the less likely you are to engage in the very behaviors that would help. That’s the recovery paradox.


Leading is like endurance sport — you need to actively replenish. But it’s not just about taking time off. It’s about the type of recovery.


Four proven strategies:

  • Detachment: Give your brain a break. Step away from work mentally and digitally.

  • Relaxation: Walk without a podcast. Sit in silence. Let your nervous system reset.

  • Mastery: Try something new—cook, paint, learn a language. Stretch without pressure.

  • Control: Reclaim your agency. Say no. Protect unscheduled time. Even small acts matter.


Take Lisa. She's a COO managing a team through layoffs. At first, she sacrificed her gym time and evenings. Then she started blocking 30 minutes daily for a walk without her phone and revisited her piano practice twice a week. Within two weeks, her sleep improved. So did her presence in meetings.


Why it works: Rest isn’t time lost. It’s energy invested. And the ripple effect benefits your team, too.


Leaders don’t just need grit — they need recovery


You can’t lead on empty. Reflection helps you process. Reframing gives you new perspective. Restoration rebuilds your reserves. Together, these aren’t indulgences. They’re the foundation for sustainable leadership.


Because your team doesn’t just need you to show up today. They need you to last.


To read the full Harvard Business Review article, please click here.


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